Life in the pavement

(i first have to say i had so many words to put down on paper this morning after my run and had hoped to get right to the computer when i got home, but here i am, 10pm...and hoping the thoughts come forth as clearly as they did this morning)

so i've picked up a new "hobby" of running since being down here. i call it my sanctuary as its been a place to escape the reality of things most the time, reality of being in a brand new city where we don't have any friends or any current church to plug into, any families for my kids to play with, the reality that we're so far from home..that we sometimes feel out of our minds with the faith we're walking in, that my sister is gone, that we have a house in MI still to sell...and its usually a break from the apartment i often feel stuck in 7 days a week. most importantly, its quiet, where i can talk with my Father and lay all the fears, the angers out...thank Him for the joyful moments, for the encouragements, for the sunshine, for the wind in my face, for the shade the trees give when i'm in need of a break from the sun on the hot days.

so today i was listening to the shane and shane album "pages" and they have a piano interlude on there (called interlude) that is really short, but just beautiful..really matched the day and it became my theme song (which i often stumble across sometime during my run and listen to several times) for the day. God began to speak to me and i discovered how much life there was in the pavement i was running on.

my running is a good metaphor for my journey right now...not running the whole 3 miles, but pushing myself to go as long as i can. and i often feel so tired, i just want to stop, but there is something inside me telling me i can go further, don't quit now, there's more in you..it's Him. and just like Him the pavement is constantly in my face..some days it feels freeing, some days feels like a big hurdle or even burden i have to overcome or push through..but every time i make the choice to meet it at the park it's there...looks the same, treats me the same, it doesn't change. sometimes running on it feels harder than the day before, but it's the same as the day before. and as difficult as the effort sometimes feels to get myself there, i never walk away from meeting it disappointed, always rejuvenated, encouraged, head held up like i have something to give the world. and sometimes right now i feel like its my closest friend, and as i thought that as i was running today i heard God say i AM your closest friend.

so i press into it...my feet pound into the pavement, over and over. i stare it in the face and lay down all i bring to it at its feet and walk away changed every time. that's my sanctuary. i was on my way home today and thought this is my motivation to keep going back. it's LIFE to me. i have to have these times with God, especially now, especially here.

on a complete side note, i (again) felt impressed when i was listening today that Ben should write a book..he is SO gifted with words and a beautiful writer...and he has a perspective no one else does, and the world needs this...so keep an eye out. i think God will begin doing a work in him to do so (although he's felt impressed himself before, i think God is going to start nudging).

if you've made it to the end of this long post, listen to the interlude here and take a second to be quiet before God and see what He may be speaking about to you in the silence.