this morning began with an excited little boy who could hardly contain himself
with the thought that he was going to SCHOOL...the place where all the kids who ride the bus go! on our way to school he asked what the name of his teacher was again and after i replied "miss gregory" he whispered to himself, "miss gregory, miss gregory, miss gregory" repeatedly in hopes to remember when he got there. and then something hit him...he made a comment about missing us while he was there and i could see the emotion flood his face...NERVOUSNESS...trying to hold back my own tears i told him it'd be ok and ben suggested we pray...so we did, and dylan proceeded to hold my hand the rest of the way there. despite that he is going to the only school in the world where they won't let you walk your child in the first day of school and are suppose to stay in the car while someone comes and gets him out and walks him in, i broke the rule today to get out to hug my baby boy...and again..his tears almost came. he gave me an extra tight squeeze and took the hand of the lady walking in as i said 'i love you'.There
he went..and our lives changed. i couldn't hold back the tears when i got in the car and headed home...i couldn't believe this day was here. i still can't believe it. i wonder if he'll make friends, or if his teacher will spot his sweet and compassionate spirit...will it get nurtured there at all? what surrounds him in that classroom that we've protected him from the last 4 years? i found myself really having to surrender him (again) to my Father this morning...to his continued care, protection, provision. it's fair to say that there is a lot to look forward to with the schoolyear...however, i'm not looking forward to dealing with and "deprogramming" him from the world in the coming years...but what parent does right?this naturally thrusted me into being reminded that our lives are in His hands...he holds them, blesses them and protects them.
our lives seems to be in the season of change (again) with financial provision for our family...church plants often work on being funded financially for 3 years..with each year reducing in the amt (and i'm only expressing that so you don't think we're getting shafted :) unfortunately our body isn't in a position to yet help with a salary for ben, so he is looking to become bi-vocational. not ideal, not easy..not a lot of things...but i was reminded today in a text conversation with a friend after she commented that it didn't seem right. if we're serving God and walking in obedience, his blessing should be flowing, she said. and my first thought was I KNOW RIGHT??!!! and then God reminded me..he IS blessing, our bills are paid, our kids are clothed and we have food in our refrigerator. he's being faithful to the promise he has spoken...he is moving miraculously on our behalf to meet those needs and i'm so grateful! and his movement in that area reminds me and affirms in me that we ARE walking in obedience, because His hand is upon us. thank you God!
today has brought lots of change to our lives. this month has brought lots of change, but today, i too was reminded that my God is faithful..and just as i have walked in faith in my own journey, i now walk in that same faith with Dylan. i will pour my life into him, i will show him the face of Jesus and then i will trust my Father with Him.....yah...the tough part of parenting i think is just beginning....
