its been a great day, but i can't help shake the weight and guilt of not getting my to do list done...ok let's be honest, even started. i have SO much to do in the next two days! i haven't put any of my 4 hrs. of work in today. i have some catch up to do with bible study (which is tomorrow), need to get media and worship set for this week for church and find some place in town that we can get palm branches from for church sunday...yet i chose to ignore the big list in my face today and just spend it with my kids and OUT of the house. it's been GREAT! but i can't help but feel the pile of stuff on me and the anxiousness of finding time for it all in the next two days..so how do you do it? how do you stop and find time to breathe and just take a day to enjoy being a mom and do something you actually want to do and NOT feel guilty about it? i definately believe you have to, i strongly believe its a necessity..but how do you shake the feeling that tries to and sometimes does rob you of the joy you get from days like these?
i leave in two days to fly to Indy all by myself to meet my new niece alaina!!! i can't WAIT to hold her! i've never flown by myself without ben or lugging 4 other bags of snacks and toys to occupy..just my carryon and me. i can't wait! sadly now i'm dreading the next 48 hrs in which i'll be cramming so much in. if you read my last post, i'm continuing my process..i'm taking steps back to living and not just surviving...just now wondering how to get back to living without the guilt...i don't know, maybe its just anxiousness of what taking a day away from the to do list means..really late nights..i don't know. sometimes i wonder how i got to this place...this type of routine hasn't been all i've known..but it has since the new year...trying to get back is all...
i'm surely open to any thoughts on relieving the guilt/anxiousness...that aside, its been a great day! i love my boys and the fun we've had together today, and i've loved getting back to making this house feel like home...
8 years ago
