bank "D"

i'm often so amazed at the conversations that dylan and i have, and for whatever reason, they are always in the car. probably because he finds himself sitting still and having time to think. today's topics were hell and bank "d".
dylan asked, "are there people in the world who never go to the beach or ever get to get ice cream?"
i responded, "yes there are"
dylan, "why?"
"because some people don't have the money. mommies and daddies have to work to have money, some people don't have enough and some mommies and daddies can't find anyone who will let them work for money"
dylan, "that's so sad! i wish i had another bank, like a "D". (dylan currently has an "A" a "B" and a "C" bank, one for Jesus, one for savings and one for spending.) then i could put money in there to give to someone who needs it, so they can get some food or something."
"we have an extra bank dylan, do you remember? the big jar in the office."
dylan, "oh yah, the one that we're saving for water?"
"yep, to help someone get clean water. but if you want to have a bank "D" then we can make one if you want to save money to give to someone that needs it."
dylan, "ok! yah can we make it when we get home?"
"yep!"

i sat and thought how compassionate this little boy is becoming, how aware he is of the world around him and where God is going to take him with this kind of heart. so tonight, we set up a bank "D" in which dylan can set aside some money to give to someone that could use some help, some food, or just be able to take that trip to the beach they may not get otherwise. i pray my heart never loses this type of compassion.

the hell conversation can be saved for another time :)

How do you do it?

its been a great day, but i can't help shake the weight and guilt of not getting my to do list done...ok let's be honest, even started. i have SO much to do in the next two days! i haven't put any of my 4 hrs. of work in today. i have some catch up to do with bible study (which is tomorrow), need to get media and worship set for this week for church and find some place in town that we can get palm branches from for church sunday...yet i chose to ignore the big list in my face today and just spend it with my kids and OUT of the house. it's been GREAT! but i can't help but feel the pile of stuff on me and the anxiousness of finding time for it all in the next two days..so how do you do it? how do you stop and find time to breathe and just take a day to enjoy being a mom and do something you actually want to do and NOT feel guilty about it? i definately believe you have to, i strongly believe its a necessity..but how do you shake the feeling that tries to and sometimes does rob you of the joy you get from days like these?

i leave in two days to fly to Indy all by myself to meet my new niece alaina!!! i can't WAIT to hold her! i've never flown by myself without ben or lugging 4 other bags of snacks and toys to occupy..just my carryon and me. i can't wait! sadly now i'm dreading the next 48 hrs in which i'll be cramming so much in. if you read my last post, i'm continuing my process..i'm taking steps back to living and not just surviving...just now wondering how to get back to living without the guilt...i don't know, maybe its just anxiousness of what taking a day away from the to do list means..really late nights..i don't know. sometimes i wonder how i got to this place...this type of routine hasn't been all i've known..but it has since the new year...trying to get back is all...

i'm surely open to any thoughts on relieving the guilt/anxiousness...that aside, its been a great day! i love my boys and the fun we've had together today, and i've loved getting back to making this house feel like home...

life as it was intended

i won't bore you with the history of all the things that have taken my time away from writing, i'm here and that's what counts right? we've had so much change (yes, again) in the last few months..some of which included vacationing for our 10 yr. anniversary..so much to relive, i'll just sum it up by saying it was all i could have ever dreamed of and more! if you haven't yet, and interested in seeing pictures, you can check out the two albums on my fb page, turks and caicos and our vow renewal. we got home, made a trip home for the holidays and moved into a rental home two weeks later. it's so great to be back in a home again..i wish it was ours, but we continue to wait for God to sell our home in MI..however, i'll certainly take this, and the kids LOVE having a back yard!

on to the real reason i sat at the computer tonight to write. i've been struggling a bit lately..struggling to avoid feeling like a resource and living life as i know God intended it to be lived..not enduring but thriving. some things have been unavoidable, some have been necessary and others i've brought on myself in fear of what would happen if i didn't...regardless of the excuse, God is preparing my mind and heart for change...don't know how yet, but i know it must come. despite the heaviness i've felt like i've been living in..there have been BEAUTIFUL moments of breath, and that's my point for writing..to share the life that's been here the last few months. besides just the moments of joy, some of the highlights include going to a worship night with kari jobe (from which i have no pics), dylan starting his first season of soccer and a visit from dear friends. here are some pictures of the beautiful moments in my life these last few months.

my three superheros

making brownies with dylan

enjoying Popsicles outside (yes in march)

more superheros..one ready for bed

watching my boys sit together

sharing a day of memories and passing them on as i pulled out some of my old stuffed animals and gave them to dylan

beginning to teach dylan how to play guitar and then watching dylan and daddy worship with their guitars before church one sun. morning

bringing dylan to his first soccer practice

watching them create memories with friends

God reminded me as i worshiped him with kari jobe that night about abandonment...worship freely..love openly, give abundantly and enjoy life! this is life as it was intended to be...lived.

where has time gone

wow, i can't believe i haven't written a thing since november. that's sad. although i will say i can't remember a busier 4 months in my life! 10 day anniversary vacation, holidays, moving...just here to say i'm still alive and i plan to give a quick update here soon! in the meantime, i love catching up on everyones life and getting lots of fun and creative tips, keep them coming :)